My Beloved Son

My absence these many months has been challenging to say the least.  To sum up the worst 8 months of my life: my husband deployed for a year, my daughter received a concussion (leading to school struggles), my son passed away March 31st, and 4 of my beloved conures died at the end of April.  I do not seek pity or prayers but write this in dedication to my beautiful son as a form of therapy.

To my darling Chandler,

I wish I could hug you close and wipe the worries away.  I wish I could see your beautiful brown eyes once more.  I wish so many things were different; but, for some reason, heaven needed you more than me.  I am lost without you, wandering day-to-day in a haze, questioning the purpose of life.  If the best of us can die so senselessly, what hope do I have…where do I go from here.  

You touched so many people’s lives.  You were selfless with a heart of gold, true to your word, and a light on campus willing to help anyone in need.  Today is Mother’s Day and the first day in 22 years without you in my life.  My heart is broken beyond repair.  Until we meet again, I will shed tears of sorrow in silence with no understanding of why you were taken from me.  

All my love,

Mom

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Reflections